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The Bitch is Back!

My my my, what a long dull winter it's been around here, darlings.And a LOT of water over the dam since my last post. I will try to be a more regular correspondent from now on, I swear. Did you miss your Goddess, hmmm????? 

Your beloved Goddess has been rather snowed under of late.  Not literally, of course - Buddha forbid the pristine streets of Tenkai should be marred by something as unsightly and inconvenient as SNOW ! **sigh**  No, dear ones (whoever you are), I've been snowed under with tons and tons of bureaucratic horseshit, and worse than that, sheer unadulterated b-o-r-e-d-o-m.  You see, my dear nephew Konzen Douji decided to take himself rather an extended vacation with that tiny ape of his - something about getting the boy away from "unsuitable influences" or something (COFF **Kenren Taisho** COFF) and in his absence, the mounds and mounds of paperwork that he normally takes care of all fell under my immaculately-manicured hands.  It was everything I could to to stay awake long enough to heft that damn chop seal of Konzen's over and over again. Honestly, I don't know how he stands it.  I don't like to think about would happen if he ever really went away. But we won't think about that now, darlings, he's back, and it's my birthday!

Well, one of them, that is.  I do get three a year, you know. Which seems rather an unkind thing to do to a lady "of an age", if you ask me -- but no one did.  And this birthday, of all things, celebrates the anniversary of THE most insane thing I ever did in my entire life:  one mad, foolhardy moment in my youth (I was pining over a lost love, you know how it is) when I actually entered a nunnery! No, not one of THOSE nunneries, like in Shakespeare - a real one darlings: robes, chanting, lots of incense and bowls of rice... the whole nine yards!  Can you imagine? Well, my dears, what all those "sacred texts" and "historical scrolls" accumulating dust in the Emperor's Libraries neglect to mention is this: the minute they told me I was supposed to shave my head, I made a beeline for the gate!!  And then, when they told me I was had to be celibate.....  Well, as you can imagine, my dears, at that point, I broke into a full-out run, left a trail of glittery dust in my wake, and never looked back!  HAH! Celibate, my round perfect ass.  It will be a cold day in Tenkai when the Merciful Goddess swears celibacy... and you KNOW how often we have cold days in Tenkai, don't you?

So anyway, darlings, if nothing else, it's useful as an excuse for a party. The bad news is it means that I have to feign all this solemnity and piety crap for nearly a full day - fasting, meditating, and all that happy horseshit.  *yawn*   But then, come midnight, they're holding a lovely little fete for me at my favorite pub - the Seven Magical Golden Balls. (Who named that place, anyway? Fucking Tinkerbell?!)   It promises to be the same lovely rowdy time it is every year - even better this year, because Tenkai has a few more dragons around the joint than we did last year, and you know how those dragons do love to party! 

Speaking of dragons, I'm planning on forcing coaxing dear old Junie-chan into being my escort to "the Balls."  Jiroushin will throw a screaming fit if I go alone, and my old man's a dear old soul, but he's SUCH an unholy drag at things like that. I simply can't let my hair down and really party with him huffing and chuffing his disapproval every time I order another round, or bat my eyes at someone!  Besides, I know for a fact that old Goujun-sama would rather walk on his thin pursed dragon lips across broken glass, than be seen escorting Yours Truly - especially to a BAR!  **giggles**   That alone is worth the price of admission, kiddos!

So buckle your seat belts, boys and girls and all things in-between -- it's gonna be a fun ride! And Happy Birthday to ME!  **throws confetti**

**PRIVATE JOURNAL OF KANZEON BOSATSU**

**GAIDEN**

Well, I surrendered to the lure of following the “best and the brightest” of Tenkai’s manhood into the tearoom the other day. What a disappointment!!
One by one I had watched them all disappear into the building, Gojun, my nephew (far too pretty for his own good) and his charge, that gorgeous General Kenren, followed by the delicious green-eyed Marshall Tenpou.  So I decided I simply had to join them, see what the attraction was. What a massive letdown that was. Despite the pheromones floating in the air so thick you could practically see them (I’m fairly sure all but Goku were sporting wood by the time I entered) their necks were even stiffer than their cocks! It was so disappointing to see that little group so boring and uptight – Konzen and Tenpou looked like they were at an Administrative Board Meeting, not a tearoom, and Goujun looked positively green, like he was seconds away from losing his lunch. Only Kenren seemed to be actually enjoying himself, including a few well-placed leers at my breasts (if he only knew what surprising treasures lay beneath my silks below the waist *smirk*.)  Goku was clearly torn between trying to please my nephew, or his “sun” as he has taken to calling him, and sucking up as much tea and cakes as possible, and exploring his fascination with the Dragon King of the Western Seas, green though he was. Everyone but Goku acted like children who had been caught with their hands in the biscuit tin when I walked in, and whatever electricity there was that had been snapping between them swiftly disappeared, and it had clearly been there, because the residual was still tangible, visible in their last furtive glances at each other if nothing else.   
Finding the tearoom a gargantuan disappointment, I headed back to the Palace, but my afternoon was salvaged by a lovely encounter with the raven-haired heretic, Homura at an outdoor cafe. That man gets all my horses running at full gallop just from the sound of his voice, not to mention that flawless physique, that silky black hair, and those mysterious bi-colored eyes of his. He was quite obviously crestfallen as I approached him, and when I offered assistance he asked a small boon, one easily granted, and far less than he deserves in my opinion given the unjust treatment he has received.  I hope, no, I intend, to see far more of the raven-haired one in the future, and to hear that mellifluous voice in a far more intimate setting. 

I want to hear him purr.

**PRIVATE JOURNAL OF KANZEON BOSATSU**

**GENSOMADEN**
 
Well, darlings, I have this new device called a “laptop” that dear Jiroushin procured for me, and he seems to think I can use it to keep an Official Journal of my activities as Merciful Goddess for the Imperial Archives, blablabla… I suppose that’s all well and good if it saves the poor man an hour or two of record-keeping in his office - Tenkai knows he is going dull and gray (ok, MORE dull and gray) working himself to death slaving over documents and records as it is.
 
But what he doesn’t know, and we all know that what he doesn’t know can't hurt him, darlings, is that I am also keeping another journal on this thing – and that is the one you are reading now, my dears. This one is my unofficial one, and I have password-protected it from prying eyes. This journal is for recording my private thoughts and observations, not to mention any, shall we say, “extracurricular” interests I might pursue that I might not want Jiroushin - or anyone else up here in Tenkai for that matter - to be aware of.
 
Because, darlings, the brutal truth is that the Goddess is getting restless in her, erhm, …middle… age. Watching the goings-on in the Underworld from my Lotus Pond is all well and good, and it certainly beats having to content myself exclusively with the events up here in Tenkai. Holy gods and goddesses, if I had to dine only on the happenings up here, I think I would go starkers in three weeks, this divine lot around here is so bloody dull, other than Gojun and his crew, and you can’t get them off the Drill Field and away from each other long enough to have any real fun with them!
 
And then there is poor Jiroushin. Ah, me… the man is as sweet as the days here are long, and in the bedroom he is certainly… competent. But as time goes on one becomes bored with “competent” and begins to crave the different and exotic, one tires of vanilla and begins to crave dark chocolates, rich curries, and hot wasabis. And exotic my poor sweet Jiroushin is not.
 
And so, dearies, I am planning some secret expeditions, unbeknownst to my dear Jiroushin or the rest of the Imperial staff. I plan to travel amongst the mortals of the Underworld, human and youkai alike – incognito as much as possible – with the goal of observing, mingling, and hopefully a little creative commingling, so to speak, if the Merciful Goddess has her way.   These little jaunts will allow me the chance to observe more closely my beloved quartet in their Journey West, not to mention to enjoy tormenting my nephew Konzen again in his current incarnation, which is something I have sorely missed. I also hope to have occasion to encounter the illustrious Homura and his cohorts: Tenkai has been a much duller place without his rich voice, his handsome frame, and his rebellious spirit – it would be so good to see him again.
 
I have yet to decide where or when I shall make my first appearance in the Underworld. Until I do, I will content myself with watching the myriad events of their world unfold, and continue to make the best of the circumstances in Tenkai. I haven’t been able to survive all these years, darlings, without being able to find ways to amuse myself wherever I am, to somehow make my own entertainment. Rest assured, you will hear from the Merciful Goddess one way or another!

**PRIVATE JOURNAL OF KANZEON BOSATSU**

**GAIDEN**
 
It was an unusually beautiful Spring day and the blossoming Sakura trees beckoned to me more than I could resist. I was determined to slip out unaccompanied, so I ditched my usual garb for a discrete lavender cheong-sam dress, pinned up my hair with some matching flowered ornaments, and reluctantly traded my mirrored necklace for a more discrete amethyst and opal one. My biggest concession to the world outside the Palace was a pair of embroidered silk slippers.
 
I chose a route that would bypass Jiroushin’s office where, as usual, he sat slavishly perusing documents and laboriously arranging my schedule. I couldn’t help but grin to myself when I pictured the look on his face when he realized I had once again given him the slip. Don’t worry, I’ll make it up to him later on in the boudoir, dearies… he’ll forget that he was ever mad. Men are so simple.
 
I took a deep breath when I escaped the rarified air of the Palace, and made a beeline for the Tenkai High Street and the Bazaar. I had a mental list of things I wanted to shop for… several kinds of massage oil, brocades for new pillows for my chambers... I was on my way to find out if they had gotten any new toys in at the “novelty shop” when I caught sight of Konzen standing amidst a long row of wooden statues, scanning the horizon for something, his brow knitted and his expression even more pained and strained than usual. Really, I am going to have to get that boy to relax somehow, he is going to be the first god in Tenkai to die of premature old age!
 
It really was quite amusing to watch Konzen- he didn’t know I could see him. Apparently he had somehow lost Goku, and when he thought he had lost his pet, his face was a maelstrom of extreme annoyance, outright anger, and something I am sure he would deny, real concern. He was beginning to get quite frantic when the little simian suddenly appeared and hurled himself at my nephew, attaching himself to Konzen like a large golden-eyed leech. Of course at that point Konzen felt constrained to forgo any signs of relief and simply rip the poor child a new one for wandering off from him, but it was obvious he was really heaving a huge sigh of relief to have the boy back safely. It was all I could do to restrain myself from laughing out loud and revealing my observation post a few feet away from them in the Marketplace.
 
Equally amusing was the long-suffering Gojun. I must say I enjoyed watching the proud warrior trailing along through the Bazaar behind one of his wives, and not one of his more attractive ones, either, holding packages and rolling his eyes while she quibbled with vendors over purchases. He reminded me of some suburban underworld husband holding his wife’s purse in the local Mall. To see the proud Dragon commander relegated to that, it was just too delicious, darlings. But in a way, it was also kind of endearing, I must admit. But then it’s no secret the Goddess has always had a sneaker for the Dragon King… I’ve always wanted to know what the Pale One really looks like underneath all that armor and regal demeanor. Some day I will find out. 
 
Both Konzen and Gojun ended up taking refuge in a little tearoom – I would have loved to go in after them and torment them both about what I had seen, but alas, my schedule didn’t allow for such luxuries this afternoon if I was to get all my shopping in and still get back to the Palace undiscovered. Priorities, darlings - I hadn’t even gotten to the “novelty” shop to check out the new “toys” yet! But more on that later.
 
Taa for now, dears.


 

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